A Wry Eye on Snow

Casting a wry eye on winter’s beauty!

A softer mantle blankets all,
The earth a virgin white.
One of nature’s wonders,
The crystal snowflake’s flight.
A winter’s day, so dull & grey,
By magic, made so bright!

Despite the gentle words I use,
To praise this wonderous sight.
I’m really not a fan of snow,
In fact I think it’s shite!

Paul Walsh ©2020
TheWryEye.com

My New Year Resolutions for 2020!

It’s that time of year when we renew our commitment to doing all those things that we failed to do in the previous year. I’m testing the theory that putting my list out there will improve my adherence. Should I fail on any resolution, I will strike through it. But I will leave it on the list to remind me to give it another shot during the year.

Here’s my to-do list for this year …

New Year’s Resolutions 2020

  • Quit smoking
  • Hit the weight-loss diet hard
  • Go for a walk first thing in the morning
  • Sleep more & don’t get up so early
  • In the new year, don’t eat any leftover chocolate from December 31st, 2019.
  • Don’t try to eat all the remaining Christmas chocolate & candy on December 31st, 2020, in anticipation of starting a diet on New Year’s day, 2021. Again!
  • Drink my coffee black
  • Try to be nicer to everyone. Except that person who lets the dog poop in my garden & then doesn’t scoop. Your days are numbered, I’ve got a new webcam trained on the front yard now!
  • Stop watching CNN & Fox News so much &, instead, watch TV5. I don’t speak much French yet but it’ll probably still be better for me!
  • Win the lottery. Hey, if you don’t ask!

New year’s resolutions are both inspiring & daunting. We like to think that a new year brings with it a whole new mindset & a brand new approach to living the life we’re really supposed to be living. Of course, for me at least, it rarely works that way. I usually fare miserably with my list of resolutions. However, that’s no reason for despair. Most of us are perpetual works in progress & we’ve got to screw up enough new year’s resolutions to become accepting of that. That, in & of itself, is a developmental achievement. It’s like when you get a new car & the elation of driving off the lot is quickly replaced by a constant worry of it getting dinged. You know what I mean … you park it at the empty end of the parking lot & walk to the mall entrance, in a blizzard, knowing you’ve done the right thing to protect your baby. When we finally buy a new car & park it as close to to the entrance as possible, we feel liberated. Resolutions work pretty much the same way. When everything doesn’t fall into place, it doesn’t mean that we are useless human beings. It just means that we are not ready to take the next big step yet.

Or am I just making excuses already!?!

Let me wish you all the very best for the New Year. I hope it’s a great one for you & for all those you hold dear.

Let me know if you’ve made any resolutions & let me know how they work out as the year progresses.

Thank you for reading my stuff throughout the past year, I appreciate your comments & your encouragement along the way. It really helps. If you want to exchange thoughts, ideas & comments, please follow The Wry Eye Facebook page, just click the Facebook icon. It’s a little easier to chat on Facebook.

The Wry Eye Christmas Diet Poem

Christmas Day is done & gone
And now I feel so yuck.
I’m fat & stuffed & way past full,
I hope my scale is stuck.

It wasn’t Christmas dinner,
Not turkey, ham, nor duck.
But all that cake & chocolate
That makes me want to chuck.

I didn’t mean to do it,
And I feel like such a schmuck.
For eating with such fervour,
That I weigh more than a truck.

It’s now all done & in the past,
I must regain my pluck.
I need to eat a whole lot less,
To skip that nip & tuck.

It’s time to knuckle down again,
And wade out of this muck.
I just can’t wait for new year’s day,
That trend I need to buck.

Instead, I’m on the wagon now,
With courage & with pluck.
I’ll screw it to the sticking place,
I’ll slapshot with that puck.

It’s here, it’s now, it starts today,
I’m done with all that guck.
If I don’t get it right this time,
My life will surely suck.

You’ll wonder how I got this far,
Without me saying … Luck!
I’ll need that too but saved one more,
Should things still run amuck.

I’m sure that you can guess this word,
And no, it isn’t cluck, nor struck!
And should I need it, I’ll still be…
One very fat Canuck!

©Paul Walsh 2019

12 Things About Christmas

Once upon a time …

Though it’s not really that long ago, it’s amazing how much the things & the work surrounding the Christmas festivities have changed.

Can you add to this list?

  1. Where did we find the time to write 50, 60, maybe even closer to 100 Christmas cards? By hand even? And we had to lick the stamps! Yuck!
  2. There was a time when the Amazon was only a river & a rainforest. Now we don’t even have to leave home to shop.
  3. Expecting a CD or vinyl under the tree? Now we get an email with a gift subscription link to a streaming music service.
  4. We had no other choice but to watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang on Christmas Day.
  5. Remember how long it took to find that one dead bulb that kept the tree lights dark?
  6. On Christmas morning, we had to light the fire with paper, kindling & matches. That sounds so Dickensian! LOL
  7. We got up at 5am to start preparing the Christmas dinner. Now we slap the pre-cooked turkey & ham into the oven 45 minutes before eating.
  8. Our local church streams its services. Is that okay, do you think!?! Unless the kids are young, of course, then there’s no choice but to go to the crowded children’s mass. And yeah, that takes about two hours!
  9. Hey priest & choir master … we used to know the words to those old “greatest hits” Christmas hymns!
  10. Used to be that I’d go through the entire festive season without even thinking about the bathroom scale!
  11. Can’t believe there was a time I was disgusted by the thought of having Christmas dinner on the beach!
  12. Imagine there was a time when Christmas was all about God ‘n’ love for each other ‘n’ mushy stuff like that?

Fortunately, it still is. I still see it everywhere, when I take the time to look. In the faces of family & friends when we shake hands & hug, exchanging the spirit of the season. In the local supermarket, when people drop a bag of groceries into the donation bin for those in greater need. In the Salvation Army baubles, bulging with cash donations at this time of year. In a million little ways, so many, regardless of religious beliefs, do a little more. We seems to find a little more of our humanity around this time of year.

There ought to be an app for that!

I may occasionally look back, with nostalgia, on the good old days but, to be honest, I like all the new stuff. And the new ways. I’m just grateful that we seem to have managed to preserve the spirit of, & that’s the best of, the old ways too.

I would like to wish you, & all those you hold dear, a very Merry Christmas. May whatever light that’s lights your way, shine brighter throughout this holiday.

Thank you for reading my stuff throughout 2019. I promise I’ll diet better in 2020. But forgive me if I overindulge during the holidays!

Merry Christmas to all! 🙏🎄🎅🎁

Stocking Stuffer & Christmas Gifts

Christmas is coming, pick up a copy of my absolutely amazingly hilarious collection of Irish short stories as a stocking stuffer for yourself. Or as a gift for a friend. You can tell them you know the author!

For a Man or a Dog is available at your local Amazon site, in paperback & Kindle versions.

Okay, guilt is forcing me to back off the sales pitch a bit … being honest, I think that maybe one third of the stories are great, another third are decent & …

okay, let’s leave it at that! 😜😁

Click the Preview button below & skip through the Introduction to read the first story.

PS … Aside from the Irish shenanigans, you’ll get some interesting insights into where my dietary challenges might have originated too!