So it’s been a week now, since I started this stupid walking thing. That dumb app buzzes & flashes whenever I’m idle for too long. Ever the sucker for those bloody marketers, I bought a new fitness band too. It’s the same brand as my phone & the app, so they all hold secret meetings together, planning on how to get further into my head. And under my skin. They incessantly vibrate on my wrist, in my pocket, & in my ear. It’s orgasmically terrifying. I can’t enjoy a nice lounge on the couch anymore. It’s just brutal.
Then, when I go out for the damn walk, I’m surrounded by these silly little critters. The cavorting squirrels, the oh-so shaggin’ cute little chipmunks, quacking duckies, & soaring eagles. Or are they crows? I don’t feckin’ know, this whole nature thing is for the birds.
Then there’re all those people. All smiley & happy-like. Walking their dumb dogs. The dogs always want to be petted. I feel like I have to do it. Then they wag their tails off & grin at me, tongues flopping out of their mouths with joy. What’s wrong with those creatures!
Worst of all, you have to talk to all the people you meet. Why are they so happy? They’re out walking, for cryin’ out loud, what’s to be happy about!?!
Despite all these challenges, I’ve kept it up for the week. Mainly to keep the apps off my back. Talking about my back, I think I need to see a chiropractor. Maybe a chiropodist too. And I’m not sure if I need a replacement hip, or knee, maybe both. I’m almost wishing the aliens would abduct me & give me an otherworldly makeover.
According to the step-counting app, I’ve gone from the 82nd percentile, all the way up to the top 30% already. Proving, once again, that most people have way more sense than me. The “average” person is at the 41st percentile. Why not 50%? Or is that the median? I don’t know, but now that I’m above average, I never felt less like a winner. I’m a total bloody crock & I’m making absolutely no promises about keeping up this walking thing.
I totally missed my weigh-in on the 1st of the month. I think my subconscious took over & kept it from the conscious side of my brain. I discovered why when I stepped on the scale a couple of days later!
I’ve tried being nice to myself & I’ve tried yelling at myself. Neither approach worked. I’m failing, miserably, at the weight loss game, at the moment. Did the same cajoling & yelling thing trying to quit smoking. Same result, I’m still smoking. Sometimes, you just need to take a break & do something completely different.
I blew the dust off the health app on my phone & thought I’d try getting outside a little more. Maybe that would blow some of the dust off my addled brain. So I’ve been talking a walk, only a short one, every day for the past 3 days. A walk by the water is especially calming.
Today, my app gave me a little encouragement. It told me that my average daily step count for October is already better than my average daily count for all of last month. For cryin’ out loud, it’s only the 6th! What on earth was I doing in September!?! No wonder the scale isn’t budging!
Don’t worry, I know what average means. I’m just trying to trick my lymbic system here! 🙄😜😂
I should probably carry on with these little walks, eh? And perhaps without that whole cajoling & yelling thing.
Motivation is sometimes hard to find. But there’s probably no need for adding that kind of abuse to the recipe. I’m just going to let it be for a little while & see what happens. I’m beginning to think that motivation, or at least the forced kind, is a little overrated.
Meantime, & before winter sets in, I’m just going to enjoy the walks & see if I can get some nice fall pics along the way.
Hope you are enjoying the walks in your neighbourhood. And if your walks happen to be in the vicinity of white sandy beaches, shaded by palm trees, please send me some pics! 🌴🍹
I like chocolate! But then, who doesn’t? I prefer milk chocolate. Though I will force myself to eat the dark stuff, my cut-off point is 70%. And I need that to have those little, sweet, crystallized, intensely fruity bits in it. I like my chocolate cold. So I store it in the fridge.
I like cookies too. But only when chocolate is involved. It can be chocolate chips. But better yet, I like my cookies to be totally covered in a thick layer of the stuff. Since I like my chocolate cold, I store my chocolate cookies in the fridge too. If I have cookies with zero chocolate content, I break my cold chocolate bar into squares. So that I can pop a square on top of each deficient cookie. It’s almost like healthy homemade, eh! 😜
I don’t drink milk. Or at least not those low-fat fat versions. I might have an occasional glass of the full-fat, high-octane stuff with a sandwich. Or with dinner. Sometimes when I’m thirsty. And, of course, I just can’t eat a cookie, especially a chocolate cookie, without milk. Milk & cookies just go together, don’t they? It’s like some kind of rule.
I like my milk cold too. Very cold. Ice cold, actually. So I add ice. Just a couple of cubes, I’m not talking a frozen milkarita here! I don’t want to dilute that delicious creamy fat content too much.