Author Paul - The Wry Eye Guy

Breakfast with Bento – Coronavirus

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Emergency food supply?

I have breakfast with Bento on occasion. He’s a font of dry wit & home-spun philosophy. Seasoned with an occasional outburst of passion on topics he feels strongly about. In moments of what might be fake humility, he claims to know nothing about anything. But I enjoy listening to his take on whatever the current news headline might be. His sometimes scathing assessments on political situations, gender wars & generational differences can bring me to tears. Usually of mirth!

This morning, the news was on in the diner. Bento had decided he wanted to eat out for breakfast before any lockdown might be implemented. On TV, a doctor was uncertain about, but continued to speak of, the hope for warmer weather tempering the coronavirus outbreak. Bento wondered why they ever let the bleeping bleeper escape with a medical degree! “Bleep, couldn’t the bleeper just look up the temperatures in Australia, Singapore & the Philippines?” I nearly choked on my toast at his summary. And while I grabbed my phone to check the temperatures & to see what the case counts were in those countries, Bento muttered that they were running around “that fella’s” golf resort with the virus too. “And what’s the temperature down that way? Isn’t that where all the snowbirds go for winter?” True enough that!

Bento was all on for a lockdown. Though we’re in an area that has yet to officially record a single case of the coronavirus, Bento is convinced we have them. And that we should be locking things down ahead of getting into a situation like Italy. “The horses have bolted over there,” he says, “and I hope they can round them up.” So what are you doing coming out for breakfast, Bento? “There you go!”, he waves his arms in the air. “Even sensible people do stupid things.”

“Some of us are just too stupid to be allowed to make our own decisions sometimes. Look what happens when we vote.” Bento wouldn’t be considered politically correct sometimes. “The Asians have a better handle on things. They do what they’re told. But not us. Oh, no! We like to be free to do what we like. Even if it’s stupid!” He went on a little rant about our healthcare system being overloaded already & that we had no chance if this thing was allowed to run rampant. He was loud now, & further encouraged by the grunts & nods of agreement from other customers within earshot. And that pretty much included everyone there. “We’ll be bleeped if they start rolling into emergency by the boatload!”

After he paused for a bit, I shared my thoughts on a lockdown. Maybe we should keep things open. To protect the economy perhaps. People need their jobs after all. And what about my retirement investments? “Ah for bleep’s sake, Paul, wouldn’t you be better off losing a few dollars & just surviving ’til retirement age.” I burst out laughing & nearly choked inhaling a piece of egg. Hard to argue that one!

As I picked up my cheque to leave, Bento shouts out that he expects that I’ll be wearing a hockey helmet & gloves next time he sees me. Now there’s a Canadian solution to remind us not to shake hands that just might work round here!

“No panic, Paul, but a little suffering can be good for the soul!”, was wrapped into his farewell comments.

“And quit smoking!”

I think I’ll go out & buy some toilet paper now! 🤪😁

It’s an ill wind …

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A little milk-chocolate-chip banana bread with my butter!

It’s an ill wind that blows nobody any good!

Now I’m of an age, a size, & a level of fitness that the coronavirus going viral causes me moments of anxiety. And I’m a smoker, so that’s another strike against me. But I’m generally pretty optimistic. At the moment, I’m looking for any sliver of a silver lining in this whole coronavirus thing. Say what!?!

Yeah, I know how terrible it is. I have older friends & family too. Indeed, I may be part of someone else’s “older friends & family” group! 🤪😁

Yes, I would really like it to just go away. But, sadly, that’s probably not going to happen. Is there anything positive to be taken from the situation?

Well, looking on the bright side, it might be an excuse to ignore my diet temporarily. In one such moment, I succumbed to the temptation of the comfort food in the pic above! However, I recovered my resolve a day later so I haven’t totally washed out the month.

Yet!

It might also be time to hunt through the sofa cushions for any spare change that might be put to work in a beaten down stock market. No!?! Yeah, you’re probably right, that might get a little worse before it gets better. But still, there is some long-term positivity potential there.

Another bright spot is that my day job requires me to travel. Sometimes at pretty short notice. But, & in rapidly increasing numbers, fewer people want me to visit them at the moment. I like visiting people but the bright side of not being able to means that I can now get some stuff done that I usually put off. There’s that minor foot procedure I’ve been putting off, for years, for example. Not having to travel means I don’t have to worry about it taking a few weeks to heal. Of course, I have to go to a medical establishment. Where there are people with potentially communicable diseases, so that’s a factor. Ferreting out those little silver linings can be challenging, eh!

It’s also a positive thing that I can go to my favourite big box store & not feel guilty about us having to go back for 2nd cart! Though I’m doing it now too, I’m not sure why we need so much toilet tissue. I know, I know, I’m such a sheep! What I’m not doing is buying antibacterial products. The coronavirus is a virus so I think good ole soap is probably the best virus killer. And I’m a little dubious about that 20 seconds being enough time for handwashing to work. Would you want your chef just doing the 20 second handwashing thing before continuing to plate your breakfast toast? No, me neither! I’ll stick to my 2 minute ritual, as an absolute minimum, thank you.

We can but pray that we, & all those we hold dear, will make it through this whole mess okay. First from the health perspective, but also from the financial point of view. I wish you all all the best for getting through it.

With my Saturday soccer matches cancelled, I’m going out shopping. Again. I’m kinda hoping I will make some diet-friendly decisions. And I’m committing to try to be patient if the lineups are long today. Might as well get a head start on practicing trying to spread some extra ripples of kindness. I’ll let you know how that goes!

Enjoy your weekend. And if you have any little points of positivity to add, please do pass them along.

Meditation & Diet?

Paul - The Wry Eye Guy
Ponder the Puffy Clouds!

Lying on a beach, under the shade of a palm tree, cold one within reach … now that’s calm-inducing, stress-alleviating & the best kind of meditation, & medication, I can think of. Can’t do that, in Canada, during the Canadian winter, without some serious risk of frostbite!

But there must be an app for that, right?

I tried a few meditation apps & they just didn’t work for me. Worse, I actually found them stressful to listen to. First one I tried starts out counting a breath in on one, out on two, in on three & then this soothing voice tells me to carry on doing that up to twenty. On my own! Is she kidding me or what? Am I going at the right pace? Maybe she counts more quickly than I do? Will I get all my breaths in before she’s back with the next activity? What if she’s slower? Do I have to hold my breath ’til she catches up? OMG, I’m hyperventilating, this is driving me nuts!

I was a trembling wreck by the time I got to twenty. Enough of that nonsense, let’s try another one.

This time it’s a guy. Great voice. Calm, soothing, very relaxed & reassuring. We’re going to do this body thing, a routine that goes from the head to the toes. With some pretty peculiar internal organ stops along the way, I might add! But this turns out to be even more excruciating. First, he tells me to get comfortable & relax. Next he’s telling me it’s okay to move uncomfortable body parts. Pick one for cryin’ out loud! I know it’s really not okay though, & I’m just screwing up, am I not? And he’s just saying all that to make me feel better about it. Right out of the gate, he knows that I’m no Zen master & that I’ll almost certainly have to move. Maybe even all the time. That’s exactly what I did, of course. I just kept squirming. And I hated every second of that little medication exercise. Next!

Then I tried this one with an irritating little bell chime thing. I’m sure if you had a real bell, while sitting cross-legged in the Himalayas, it would work far better. You know what I mean, you’d have the right atmosphere for meditation all the way up there. With the monks & robes & whatnot. But the mind-numbing consistency of a mathematically accurate & repeatable digital ding just did my head in.

I know, I know … I’m probably doing it incorrectly. I know I should probably chill out & just try it again. But my heart rate is up, I’m sure my blood pressure is too, so I’m going to resort to something I have more practice with. Something I know works.

A slice of deep dish cheesecake. With a big blob of whipped cream.

And afterwards, when I’m cheesecake-calm, maybe I’ll try that meditation thing with the sound of the waves lapping on the beach. 😜😁

PS … Happy International Women’s Day to all the ladies out there. And to the National ladies too! 🤪😁

Results … Month #20

Paul - The Wry Eye Guy
Results … Month #20

I’m not setting any diet speed records here but down is down. And for a chocoholic, doing that in the shortest month of the year, one that includes Valentine’s day, is not too shabby. Though I’m glad it was a leap year!

I am still bemused by my lack of desire for a more carnivorous diet at the moment & I ate a lot of starch-heavy, vaguely-vegetarian meals during February. I did not avoid fat, not even animal fat, but I found myself adding far less meat than I consider “normal”. A beef stew, for example, was more a veggie stew, with a little beef added for flavour. To be honest, that would probably equate to a normal serving of meat for a skinny person, but still. I also used a lot of rice & potato to thicken my culinary concoctions. Sometimes, I used rice and potatoes in the same dish.

For dieters who like to measure & monitor such things, my blood sugar was showing green all the way. Though I wasn’t checking very frequently. My levels were higher than when I’m eating low carb or keto, & I do prefer those lower numbers, but still pretty good. And it might have been better if there hadn’t been so much chocolate floating around during the month. I also ate a lot of fruit, even bananas, & most often in my homemade ice-cream. I ate out & brought take-out home, without any thought of pandering to a particular dietary strategy. To be honest, if I were at my goal weight, I wouldn’t mind living this way.

I had intended to stick in a few fast days too. I really don’t feel like I’ve done it right if I don’t fast for one full waking cycle & that didn’t happen in February. The best I managed was an occasional one meal a day fast. The one meal starting with dinner & ending when I went to bed!

It all sounds like a series of dismal failures, doesn’t it? On the other hand, I’m down. And I’m pretty happy with that. I think I should feel like I ought to be grabbing this thing by the scruff of the neck & getting on with it. But then I imagine that I’m being overtaken by some eastern mystic force that is allowing me to move Mount Fuji, one pebble at a time!

It can all be a little confusing, this dieting thing, can’t it? 🤪😜

I am wandering aimlessly into March, without a firm plan in mind. Seems like there are a few choices of dietary regimens that allow for weight loss. The mix & match strategy doesn’t work quite so well when I change from one day to the next. Or from one meal to the next! But there are choices. It’s usually not too difficult to stick with one of those choices for a couple or three days. Maybe mix & match will be my method for the month of March. Mmmm!?!

There is a new Indian restaurant that I’m planning to test drive today. With abandon! Tomorrow, I’ll see if I can come up with a strategy for the next month.

Or at least for the next few days!😁

Namaste 🙏

Learn a New Language … Now!

Paul - The Wry Eye Guy
Le chat est noir et blanc!

This is a bit of a diversion from my usual dietary woes but I thought I’d share a little something that could have turned into an even bigger regret than it already was. About thirty odd years ago, I was paralysed by my inability to decide between learning French, Spanish, German, Japanese or Chinese. So I didn’t start learning any of them. Inertia is a powerful thing!

Since Canada is a bilingual country, & I already had the English bit, I thought I should probably try French. Finally! After all, it would be easier to find francophones to practice with. We have plenty of local language resources. And we have French TV channels & radio that I could learn from. Logical, eh!

After 30 years of deliberations, I then did what everyone with an engineering background does … I did another comparative evaluation exercise on which French language course might be more useful for me. I lost another year doing that. But I finally picked one & splashed the cash. It was my 2017 Christmas gift from me to myself!

I did the first lesson the day I purchased the course. And then I did nothing. Again!

It wasn’t ’til after a family trip to Québec that I was reminded of some things I’d forgotten. Seeing things through another’s eyes, those of my daughter, was an eye opener! She loved Montréal &, no surprise this, the stunning beauty of Québec City too. She began learning French. Towards the end of last year I blew the digital dust off off my French course & got stuck in. But this time, so far & fingers crossed that it continues, I’m staying the course.

I’m lucky enough to have to travel to the francophone regions of Canada for work &, finally, I overcame my reluctance to speak my first few words of French in public. In a restaurant, of course! I had diligently practiced my opening lines. Those that warn people that I’m just learning French & to please have patience with me! They worked. People took their time, they spoke slowly & clearly, & they helped me. And I managed to get breakfast to boot!

There is a quote, a touch inaccurately portrayed as something said by Nelson Mandela, that says … If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.

That is one of the true joys of speaking, no matter how poorly, another’s language. I am awed by the tolerance, the patience, & the kindness elicited by my early efforts to speak French. I hope that, one day, I’ll be able to make it sound like the beautiful language it is. Meantime, my fingers are hurting from being crossed so that I might sustain the effort.

You know that I like to beat up on myself from time to time, so I’m just a tad annoyed that I didn’t start sooner. But I’m also kinda quietly proud of my progress so far.

I wonder if I shouldn’t think about doing a little Spanish on the side too? I really like the food in all the Spanish speaking countries I’ve been to too. And, who knows, maybe it’s not too late to give up on the notion that I might aspire to, one day, play that old dusty guitar like Carlos Santana!

Hope you’re all having a great weekend! 😜😁

PS … If you’d like to try something a little different for your next vacation, I highly recommend a visit to Canada’s French-speaking regions. It’s like a little touch of Europe, right here in North America. And give it a try, test drive your few words of French! And wait ’til you try the food, I’m going to do a post later on the fast food in Québec. Mmmmm! ! 🤪