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It’s an ill wind …

Paul - The Wry Eye Guy Leave a comment
A little milk-chocolate-chip banana bread with my butter!

It’s an ill wind that blows nobody any good!

Now I’m of an age, a size, & a level of fitness that the coronavirus going viral causes me moments of anxiety. And I’m a smoker, so that’s another strike against me. But I’m generally pretty optimistic. At the moment, I’m looking for any sliver of a silver lining in this whole coronavirus thing. Say what!?!

Yeah, I know how terrible it is. I have older friends & family too. Indeed, I may be part of someone else’s “older friends & family” group! 🤪😁

Yes, I would really like it to just go away. But, sadly, that’s probably not going to happen. Is there anything positive to be taken from the situation?

Well, looking on the bright side, it might be an excuse to ignore my diet temporarily. In one such moment, I succumbed to the temptation of the comfort food in the pic above! However, I recovered my resolve a day later so I haven’t totally washed out the month.

Yet!

It might also be time to hunt through the sofa cushions for any spare change that might be put to work in a beaten down stock market. No!?! Yeah, you’re probably right, that might get a little worse before it gets better. But still, there is some long-term positivity potential there.

Another bright spot is that my day job requires me to travel. Sometimes at pretty short notice. But, & in rapidly increasing numbers, fewer people want me to visit them at the moment. I like visiting people but the bright side of not being able to means that I can now get some stuff done that I usually put off. There’s that minor foot procedure I’ve been putting off, for years, for example. Not having to travel means I don’t have to worry about it taking a few weeks to heal. Of course, I have to go to a medical establishment. Where there are people with potentially communicable diseases, so that’s a factor. Ferreting out those little silver linings can be challenging, eh!

It’s also a positive thing that I can go to my favourite big box store & not feel guilty about us having to go back for 2nd cart! Though I’m doing it now too, I’m not sure why we need so much toilet tissue. I know, I know, I’m such a sheep! What I’m not doing is buying antibacterial products. The coronavirus is a virus so I think good ole soap is probably the best virus killer. And I’m a little dubious about that 20 seconds being enough time for handwashing to work. Would you want your chef just doing the 20 second handwashing thing before continuing to plate your breakfast toast? No, me neither! I’ll stick to my 2 minute ritual, as an absolute minimum, thank you.

We can but pray that we, & all those we hold dear, will make it through this whole mess okay. First from the health perspective, but also from the financial point of view. I wish you all all the best for getting through it.

With my Saturday soccer matches cancelled, I’m going out shopping. Again. I’m kinda hoping I will make some diet-friendly decisions. And I’m committing to try to be patient if the lineups are long today. Might as well get a head start on practicing trying to spread some extra ripples of kindness. I’ll let you know how that goes!

Enjoy your weekend. And if you have any little points of positivity to add, please do pass them along.

Meditation & Diet?

Paul - The Wry Eye Guy
Ponder the Puffy Clouds!

Lying on a beach, under the shade of a palm tree, cold one within reach … now that’s calm-inducing, stress-alleviating & the best kind of meditation, & medication, I can think of. Can’t do that, in Canada, during the Canadian winter, without some serious risk of frostbite!

But there must be an app for that, right?

I tried a few meditation apps & they just didn’t work for me. Worse, I actually found them stressful to listen to. First one I tried starts out counting a breath in on one, out on two, in on three & then this soothing voice tells me to carry on doing that up to twenty. On my own! Is she kidding me or what? Am I going at the right pace? Maybe she counts more quickly than I do? Will I get all my breaths in before she’s back with the next activity? What if she’s slower? Do I have to hold my breath ’til she catches up? OMG, I’m hyperventilating, this is driving me nuts!

I was a trembling wreck by the time I got to twenty. Enough of that nonsense, let’s try another one.

This time it’s a guy. Great voice. Calm, soothing, very relaxed & reassuring. We’re going to do this body thing, a routine that goes from the head to the toes. With some pretty peculiar internal organ stops along the way, I might add! But this turns out to be even more excruciating. First, he tells me to get comfortable & relax. Next he’s telling me it’s okay to move uncomfortable body parts. Pick one for cryin’ out loud! I know it’s really not okay though, & I’m just screwing up, am I not? And he’s just saying all that to make me feel better about it. Right out of the gate, he knows that I’m no Zen master & that I’ll almost certainly have to move. Maybe even all the time. That’s exactly what I did, of course. I just kept squirming. And I hated every second of that little medication exercise. Next!

Then I tried this one with an irritating little bell chime thing. I’m sure if you had a real bell, while sitting cross-legged in the Himalayas, it would work far better. You know what I mean, you’d have the right atmosphere for meditation all the way up there. With the monks & robes & whatnot. But the mind-numbing consistency of a mathematically accurate & repeatable digital ding just did my head in.

I know, I know … I’m probably doing it incorrectly. I know I should probably chill out & just try it again. But my heart rate is up, I’m sure my blood pressure is too, so I’m going to resort to something I have more practice with. Something I know works.

A slice of deep dish cheesecake. With a big blob of whipped cream.

And afterwards, when I’m cheesecake-calm, maybe I’ll try that meditation thing with the sound of the waves lapping on the beach. 😜😁

PS … Happy International Women’s Day to all the ladies out there. And to the National ladies too! 🤪😁

Results … Month #20

Paul - The Wry Eye Guy
Results … Month #20

I’m not setting any diet speed records here but down is down. And for a chocoholic, doing that in the shortest month of the year, one that includes Valentine’s day, is not too shabby. Though I’m glad it was a leap year!

I am still bemused by my lack of desire for a more carnivorous diet at the moment & I ate a lot of starch-heavy, vaguely-vegetarian meals during February. I did not avoid fat, not even animal fat, but I found myself adding far less meat than I consider “normal”. A beef stew, for example, was more a veggie stew, with a little beef added for flavour. To be honest, that would probably equate to a normal serving of meat for a skinny person, but still. I also used a lot of rice & potato to thicken my culinary concoctions. Sometimes, I used rice and potatoes in the same dish.

For dieters who like to measure & monitor such things, my blood sugar was showing green all the way. Though I wasn’t checking very frequently. My levels were higher than when I’m eating low carb or keto, & I do prefer those lower numbers, but still pretty good. And it might have been better if there hadn’t been so much chocolate floating around during the month. I also ate a lot of fruit, even bananas, & most often in my homemade ice-cream. I ate out & brought take-out home, without any thought of pandering to a particular dietary strategy. To be honest, if I were at my goal weight, I wouldn’t mind living this way.

I had intended to stick in a few fast days too. I really don’t feel like I’ve done it right if I don’t fast for one full waking cycle & that didn’t happen in February. The best I managed was an occasional one meal a day fast. The one meal starting with dinner & ending when I went to bed!

It all sounds like a series of dismal failures, doesn’t it? On the other hand, I’m down. And I’m pretty happy with that. I think I should feel like I ought to be grabbing this thing by the scruff of the neck & getting on with it. But then I imagine that I’m being overtaken by some eastern mystic force that is allowing me to move Mount Fuji, one pebble at a time!

It can all be a little confusing, this dieting thing, can’t it? 🤪😜

I am wandering aimlessly into March, without a firm plan in mind. Seems like there are a few choices of dietary regimens that allow for weight loss. The mix & match strategy doesn’t work quite so well when I change from one day to the next. Or from one meal to the next! But there are choices. It’s usually not too difficult to stick with one of those choices for a couple or three days. Maybe mix & match will be my method for the month of March. Mmmm!?!

There is a new Indian restaurant that I’m planning to test drive today. With abandon! Tomorrow, I’ll see if I can come up with a strategy for the next month.

Or at least for the next few days!😁

Namaste 🙏

Learn a New Language … Now!

Paul - The Wry Eye Guy
Le chat est noir et blanc!

This is a bit of a diversion from my usual dietary woes but I thought I’d share a little something that could have turned into an even bigger regret than it already was. About thirty odd years ago, I was paralysed by my inability to decide between learning French, Spanish, German, Japanese or Chinese. So I didn’t start learning any of them. Inertia is a powerful thing!

Since Canada is a bilingual country, & I already had the English bit, I thought I should probably try French. Finally! After all, it would be easier to find francophones to practice with. We have plenty of local language resources. And we have French TV channels & radio that I could learn from. Logical, eh!

After 30 years of deliberations, I then did what everyone with an engineering background does … I did another comparative evaluation exercise on which French language course might be more useful for me. I lost another year doing that. But I finally picked one & splashed the cash. It was my 2017 Christmas gift from me to myself!

I did the first lesson the day I purchased the course. And then I did nothing. Again!

It wasn’t ’til after a family trip to Québec that I was reminded of some things I’d forgotten. Seeing things through another’s eyes, those of my daughter, was an eye opener! She loved Montréal &, no surprise this, the stunning beauty of Québec City too. She began learning French. Towards the end of last year I blew the digital dust off off my French course & got stuck in. But this time, so far & fingers crossed that it continues, I’m staying the course.

I’m lucky enough to have to travel to the francophone regions of Canada for work &, finally, I overcame my reluctance to speak my first few words of French in public. In a restaurant, of course! I had diligently practiced my opening lines. Those that warn people that I’m just learning French & to please have patience with me! They worked. People took their time, they spoke slowly & clearly, & they helped me. And I managed to get breakfast to boot!

There is a quote, a touch inaccurately portrayed as something said by Nelson Mandela, that says … If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.

That is one of the true joys of speaking, no matter how poorly, another’s language. I am awed by the tolerance, the patience, & the kindness elicited by my early efforts to speak French. I hope that, one day, I’ll be able to make it sound like the beautiful language it is. Meantime, my fingers are hurting from being crossed so that I might sustain the effort.

You know that I like to beat up on myself from time to time, so I’m just a tad annoyed that I didn’t start sooner. But I’m also kinda quietly proud of my progress so far.

I wonder if I shouldn’t think about doing a little Spanish on the side too? I really like the food in all the Spanish speaking countries I’ve been to too. And, who knows, maybe it’s not too late to give up on the notion that I might aspire to, one day, play that old dusty guitar like Carlos Santana!

Hope you’re all having a great weekend! 😜😁

PS … If you’d like to try something a little different for your next vacation, I highly recommend a visit to Canada’s French-speaking regions. It’s like a little touch of Europe, right here in North America. And give it a try, test drive your few words of French! And wait ’til you try the food, I’m going to do a post later on the fast food in Québec. Mmmmm! ! 🤪

Online Shopping for 2XLT

Paul - The Wry Eye Guy
Shopping Locally for Breakfast!

I have no idea why, but there are actually skinny people who read my blog from time to time. While many of these kind folk sympathise, some of them find it difficult to truly empathise with the predicaments we larger folk face. This post should give them a chuckle. It makes me want to throw up! But that’s the kind of motivational kick in the pants I need every now & then.

Let me start out by saying that I am a big supporter of the idea of shopping local. I prefer to buy local products, from farmers & producers as close to me as possible. Now, during the Canadian winter, that may mean my neighbours in California & Mexico for some products, but still. I’m even willing to pay more (not to a ridiculous extent, of course!) to support my local community. Along with that, I try to buy from local brick & mortar stores. They pay rent & taxes locally, & they employ local folk. All of which makes a contribution to bettering the community I live in. I still go to the checkouts that have real people & not those automated checkouts. That’s all true until it comes to shopping for clothes for a fat guy!

Despite the growing girth of the population at large (😜😁😂), it is pretty challenging for a fat guy to get reasonably well fitting clothes, at reasonable prices, on Main Street. In my case, I “stock” about four different sizes of pants in the closet. That covers an 8″ range of waist sizes, with a 3″ variation on inseam length. I also have a compliment of shirts that run from large through 2XLT. I must admit that the low end of my clothing inventory is a little optimistic. And perhaps a little nostalgic!

Now normal people might have missed the nuances of the size variations here. Inseam variations? Tall & standard length shirts? Why?

An expanding gut wreaks havoc with sizing. Along with the larger waistband, we have to make a serious decision. Do we let the waistband fall below the bulge? Or do we go bigger & pull it up over the tire? No, the latter is not an option, so we drop it! That means that we need a shorter rise, lest we want to look like those kids with the crotch of the pants hanging between their knees. And we need a shorter inseam to match. Of course, that also means that our standard length shirts run the risk of disengaging from the waistband. After all, they now have to circumvent the belly. And the waistband is suddenly further away. So now we need tall shirt lengths too. Crop tops may look cute on flat bellied teens but a bare & bulging midriff on a middle aged fat guy? Not so much! Shopping has just become a big deal for anyone that crosses that line. I wonder if larger women have similar shopping challenges?

You skinny people go in to your favourite big box store, grab a nice pair of jeans, on sale, check the leg length, & you’re good to go. I go in & root through the entire stack to find the one & only pair of pants with the correct waist size. If I’m lucky. Then I take that to my local tailor to have it hemmed to the correct length. Yes, I know there’s more material in the bigger size but the cost penalty is often disproportionately huge. Especially if we have to resort to the big guy clothing store.

Enter online shopping!

I’m a big fan of Amazon. Is there anything that you can’t find on there? I can get my tall shirts. I can get my large pants. With the correct inseam length. The shipping is free. And I can sometimes even find stuff on sale! I love my local stores but, on occasion, the costs & the pain are just a little too much to bear.

To be honest, I’m a bit of a Jeff Bezos fan. He’s one of those people that is on my list of famous people that I’d like to have dinner with. Since he announced that 10 billion dollar Bezos Earth Fund, I’m feeling a little less guilty about not doing all my shopping locally. I’ll certainly continue to buy my food from local sources. And maybe that will help me lose the weight. So I can go back to shopping for normal sized clothes again. Locally!

PS … Today is the first national “I Read Canadian” day! In Canada, the market share for Canadian authors has been halved over the past decade & a Canadian initiative is trying to reverse that trend. You can learn more about the program here.

I know most of my regular reader are tired of hearing this but … I am one of those Canadian writers! And, to boot, Amazon print on demand titles are now printed in Canada. If you’ve already bought a copy of my book, thank you. If you haven’t, please do. And if it’s just not your cup of tea, please share this link with your friends for me.

There are more in the works but nothing close enough to be worth talking about yet.