Better than Average!?!

Silly things crack me up these days!

So it’s been a week now, since I started this stupid walking thing. That dumb app buzzes & flashes whenever I’m idle for too long. Ever the sucker for those bloody marketers, I bought a new fitness band too. It’s the same brand as my phone & the app, so they all hold secret meetings together, planning on how to get further into my head. And under my skin. They incessantly vibrate on my wrist, in my pocket, & in my ear. It’s orgasmically terrifying. I can’t enjoy a nice lounge on the couch anymore. It’s just brutal.

Then, when I go out for the damn walk, I’m surrounded by these silly little critters. The cavorting squirrels, the oh-so shaggin’ cute little chipmunks, quacking duckies, & soaring eagles. Or are they crows? I don’t feckin’ know, this whole nature thing is for the birds.

Then there’re all those people. All smiley & happy-like. Walking their dumb dogs. The dogs always want to be petted. I feel like I have to do it. Then they wag their tails off & grin at me, tongues flopping out of their mouths with joy. What’s wrong with those creatures!

Worst of all, you have to talk to all the people you meet. Why are they so happy? They’re out walking, for cryin’ out loud, what’s to be happy about!?!

Despite all these challenges, I’ve kept it up for the week. Mainly to keep the apps off my back. Talking about my back, I think I need to see a chiropractor. Maybe a chiropodist too. And I’m not sure if I need a replacement hip, or knee, maybe both. I’m almost wishing the aliens would abduct me & give me an otherworldly makeover.

According to the step-counting app, I’ve gone from the 82nd percentile, all the way up to the top 30% already. Proving, once again, that most people have way more sense than me. The “average” person is at the 41st percentile. Why not 50%? Or is that the median? I don’t know, but now that I’m above average, I never felt less like a winner. I’m a total bloody crock & I’m making absolutely no promises about keeping up this walking thing.

Do I need a walking stick? Hurrruuump! 😜😁

It’s an ill wind …

A little milk-chocolate-chip banana bread with my butter!

It’s an ill wind that blows nobody any good!

Now I’m of an age, a size, & a level of fitness that the coronavirus going viral causes me moments of anxiety. And I’m a smoker, so that’s another strike against me. But I’m generally pretty optimistic. At the moment, I’m looking for any sliver of a silver lining in this whole coronavirus thing. Say what!?!

Yeah, I know how terrible it is. I have older friends & family too. Indeed, I may be part of someone else’s “older friends & family” group! 🤪😁

Yes, I would really like it to just go away. But, sadly, that’s probably not going to happen. Is there anything positive to be taken from the situation?

Well, looking on the bright side, it might be an excuse to ignore my diet temporarily. In one such moment, I succumbed to the temptation of the comfort food in the pic above! However, I recovered my resolve a day later so I haven’t totally washed out the month.

Yet!

It might also be time to hunt through the sofa cushions for any spare change that might be put to work in a beaten down stock market. No!?! Yeah, you’re probably right, that might get a little worse before it gets better. But still, there is some long-term positivity potential there.

Another bright spot is that my day job requires me to travel. Sometimes at pretty short notice. But, & in rapidly increasing numbers, fewer people want me to visit them at the moment. I like visiting people but the bright side of not being able to means that I can now get some stuff done that I usually put off. There’s that minor foot procedure I’ve been putting off, for years, for example. Not having to travel means I don’t have to worry about it taking a few weeks to heal. Of course, I have to go to a medical establishment. Where there are people with potentially communicable diseases, so that’s a factor. Ferreting out those little silver linings can be challenging, eh!

It’s also a positive thing that I can go to my favourite big box store & not feel guilty about us having to go back for 2nd cart! Though I’m doing it now too, I’m not sure why we need so much toilet tissue. I know, I know, I’m such a sheep! What I’m not doing is buying antibacterial products. The coronavirus is a virus so I think good ole soap is probably the best virus killer. And I’m a little dubious about that 20 seconds being enough time for handwashing to work. Would you want your chef just doing the 20 second handwashing thing before continuing to plate your breakfast toast? No, me neither! I’ll stick to my 2 minute ritual, as an absolute minimum, thank you.

We can but pray that we, & all those we hold dear, will make it through this whole mess okay. First from the health perspective, but also from the financial point of view. I wish you all all the best for getting through it.

With my Saturday soccer matches cancelled, I’m going out shopping. Again. I’m kinda hoping I will make some diet-friendly decisions. And I’m committing to try to be patient if the lineups are long today. Might as well get a head start on practicing trying to spread some extra ripples of kindness. I’ll let you know how that goes!

Enjoy your weekend. And if you have any little points of positivity to add, please do pass them along.