Trying to be Kind in an era of Anti-Social Media

Trying to be Kind in an era of Anti-Social MediaAntiSocial Mediea

If you’re thinking I’m avoiding talking about my diet because I’m not doing so well at the moment … you’d be right! ๐Ÿ™‚

For the purpose of this piece, I’m going to blame my current, & hopefully temporary, lack of dietary success on the stresses of social media. Some folk are posting & sharing thoughts & beliefs that I could never have imagined coming out of their mouths. These are nice, kind, feeling, thinking people. I’ve spent time with them, eaten dinner with them, had a beer with them, & I can absolutely say that they are nice people. So why would such nice people flip out every now & again, to spread unkind thoughts, memes & tropes?

We seem to be pretty tribal by nature. We prioritize our family, our friends, our neighborhood, our city, state & country, over those of others. Maybe that’s okay up to a point. But it’s not so okay when we start belittling or taking action to lower the “others” position. If, without changing our own position or circumstance, we somehow feel elevated when we take down another, we are in a bad place.

Today’s social media platforms are an amazing way to stay in touch with family & friends around the world. They can be used to spread fun, joy & happiness. They can also be used as tools to denigrate each other, with the safety of that digital distance & anonymity between us. I have been so surprised by some of the posts & comments in recent times, that I renamed my social media app folder “AntiSocial”. Each time I open a social media app, it’s a quick reminder for me to think before I post.

Remember that old saying: if you don’t have something good to say, say nothing. It’s probably still sound advice, isn’t it? Now, I wish I could claim the high moral ground here & say that I am that kind of person. I wasn’t always & indeed, I’m sometimes not. But I think it’s worth trying to be that guy. And I am occasionally reminded of that, most often when someone has higher expectations of me, than I have of myself. We all have the capability of being good people.

This is a great day to remember all this because today, March 20th, is the International Day of Happiness. And spring arrives today!

Now that sounds like a great day to share a little of the good stuff on social media, doesn’t it!

Peace, love, happiness & all that sloppy, mushy stuff (Cut me some slack, I have to preserve some of my bad boy image here! ) to all of you. I hope each & every one of you finds an extra ration of happiness today, tomorrow, & beyond.

PS … I will get back to the diet talk, please bear with me while I battle my demons! ๐Ÿ™‚

Our Friends Don’t Care if We are Fat!

Our Friends Don’t Care if We are Fat!PEI Lobster Dinner

I’m being a little callous here but I’m guessing that more than half our friends don’t really care if we lose weight or not. Yes, they would worry if we fell ill because of it but, on a day to day basis, they probably love us for who we are. But they don’t really care much, one way of the other, about our weight. Or howย weย might feel about our weight. The other half, some of them may be trying to lose weight themselves, might even be hoping we fail! ๐Ÿ™‚

Dieting is a lonely endeavour. That doesn’t mean we can’t feel empathy for each other, even if only for brief periods of time. It doesn’t mean we can’t share parts of each other’s journeys. And those things too can be valuable. But for the most part, we’re left to our own devices when it comes to weight loss.

Below is the text of a Facebook post that I shared with my friends. The pic that accompanied it is above.

Poor man’s dinner in PEI …
Endless bowl of seafood chowder.
A salad (wtf is that for? Though half the plate was potato salad, so not bad!)ย 
Endless bucket of mussels (ate them all but did not ask for more!)
PEI spuds swimming in half a pound of butter.
And, of course, a sea cockroach!
I didn’t eat the delicious, fresh baked little loaves of bread that sang out to me the whole time!
AND I skipped dessert.
Good boy, Paul!

Most will give it a like. Or rejoin with a little humerous comment of their own. But very few will comment on the diet & weight-loss parts of the post. Not that I would want them to do that publicly. My skinny friends might be horrified! LOL

But you’d think one or two might share a word of encouragement by personal message or something, wouldn’t you? Or perhaps they’ve seen me fail too many times before & they don’t want to embarrass me? And yes, now that I think about it, I might actually be embarrassed. Worse yet, is it possible that I might perceive the message as insincere? Supporting each other can be a complex thing sometimes. Despite the challenges, I’m grateful for the friends I have in my life anyway.

On the other hand … screw them! I’ll get my revenge when I strut into the next social gathering several pounds lighter! ๐Ÿ™‚

PS … The funny side of dieting & life aside, I am actually a little worried at the moment. I haven’t really tested this level of looseness, of so little dietary restriction, previously. Have I been too loose over the course of this holiday? Did I go overboard a couple of times too many? When I look at that pic, & realise how much I ate at that one meal, I have to say … I’m a lot worried! The scale will tell the tale this coming weekend.

I know you don’t care all that much but please cross your fingers for me! ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

How Your Skinny Partner Can Help You Lose Weight!

Spice Up Your Diet

Spice Up Your Diet!

We are, of course, delighted that our skinny spouses & partners are not suffering the weight problems that torment us, aren’t we? However, most of them don’t realise how much they torture us sometimes. I go to great lengths when I’m test driving a new diet. I buy all the right foods. I have all my tools at the ready. I write up a menu plan, a schedule, & who know what else, so that I don’t have to think about anything. I plan the work & work the plan, no deliberation required. I’ll be three days into it, doing really well, when my better, & far-lighter, half will open a new bag of chocolate truffles!

“These are delicious, Paul!”, she’ll say.

“You can probably have just one, can’t you?”, she’ll say. Looking at me, all wide-eyed & innocent, eyebrows raised, waiting for me to capitulate.

It feels like everyone we know wants to conspire against us when we’re trying to lose weight. What on earth is going through their minds? The people at work bring boxes of doughnuts, with exhortations that we simply must have just one. We can’t only have a salad when everyone goes out to the local burger joint for lunch on Friday. And family gatherings are a total nightmare.

“Ah, go on, one slice won’t hurt you!”

My only advice is that when you’re trying out a diet, don’t take advice from anyone that isn’t on the same diet. Neither should we take advice from any skinny people. And we especially shouldn’t take advice from the skinny people that are closest to us!

It’s time to turn the tables on these skinny people in our lives. If they really want to help us, they should do something that we want them to do. And something that will work in favour of what we’re trying to achieve.

I’m going to ask my better half to try suggesting sex next time she is overcome with a desire to help me with my diet!ย ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€