Bad Habits

How come all my favourite habits fall into the “BAD” category! I like to lay about on the couch & watch TV. While doing that, I like to feed my face with chips, dips & chicken wings. Sometimes it’s a meat lovers pizza, or some French fries, with beer. When those are all gone, I like to indulge in some chocolate, cookies, cake or ice cream. Sometimes more than one of them.

Ice Cream
Awesome Ice Cream!

I like sex, booze, rock ‘n’ roll, & cigarettes. Everyone tells me these are all bad habits.

Unfortunately, they may be right. And I am economically & circumferentially challenged to such an extent that I either can not, or should not, do such things all the time anyway. Some of these habits, the helpful people suggest, I should never indulge in again. I have tried so many time to quit smoking. I am currently in remission, yet I’m really still, at heart (or is that “at lung”!), a smoker. Every time I quit smoking for any length of time, I pile on the weight. I’ve tried alternatives. Spinach, lettuce & other green stuff just isn’t as tasty as a smoked meat sandwich. Water doesn’t have quite the same appeal as beer on a sunny summer Sunday afternoon. Nothing matches the humble spud, especially in its deep fried state, for snacking on. I’ve even tried a pacifier (a baby’s dummy!) to replace the eating that comes with not smoking but it doesn’t work. Vaping, close though it is to the process, still isn’t quite the same as a real cigarette. And we just know there’s going to be some awful outcome from the chemicals in that juice too, don’t we?

I don’t think those experts recommending habit substitution have ever had a bad habit in their lives. They have absolutely no idea how good these bad habits are. Yes, I know such habits will probably end my life sooner. But along the way, I find myself wondering what’s the point if I’m just going to be miserable all the time. Unlike most folk, who would like to pass away peacefully in their sleep at a ripe old age, I don’t want that. I want a little warning. I told my doctor that when he finally gives me that terminal diagnosis, I’m off to the store to fill my trunk with sufficient cigarettes to take me there. You should have seen the look on his face!

Sadly, I love my bad habits so much that I was only half joking. If you know of some good habits that I should test drive, please share.

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