Our Menu Options Have Changed

If you have any influence on your company’s voicemail system, do me a favor & get rid of anything that comes even close to it saying …

“Please listen carefully, as our menu options have changed. Blah, blah, blah. Yada, yada, yah!”

Everyone’s shaggin’ menu system has changed. We don’t give a duck! Stop wasting my friggin’ time telling me about your menu system. I really & truly don’t give a flyin’ duck about your menu options. Just tell me what they are. Without having to listen to your preamble in that pathetic sniveling professional e-voice. As it wastes yet another two minute packet of my time.

And when did the damn thing change anyway? I’ve been calling your bloody company for 5 years now! Does it change every damn week or what? And even when you tell me it changes, why does it always sound the same? If you’re going to drone on about changes, at least entertain me by telling me what the changes are.

Do you think your company is the only dumb company I call? I don’t remember what number I pressed last time, so chances are I’ll have to listen to your stupid menu options anyway. So quit telling me to do that. Cut to the chase. Gimme the options. Now!

You shouldn’t worry so much about the clowns that hit the wrong number. Worry, instead, about the people you are pissing off. Who will then deliberately hit the wrong number, just to piss off someone at your place!

Not that any of it really matters. Since I know I’m probably going to get voicemail anyway!